Thursday, September 21, 2006

The Picard Imperative

For some time, I've wanted to contribute something significant to the common vernacular, but I just never seized upon anything. I mean, Peter Merholz coined "blog" and Malcolm Gladwell popularized "the tipping point" (actually coined by Morton Grodzins), but I, alas, had nothing. Then it came to me: The Picard Imperative.

To wit: any man who finds himself approaching baldness must immediately shave his head to a length no greater than that of Captain Jean-Luc Picard's, AKA Patrick Stewart of TV's Star Trek, the Next Generation. Thereby, said gentlemen may maintain a modicum of dignity whilst losing their tresses. No elaborate combovers, no toupees, no hairplugs, however advanced in their technology. And be further advised that not every man looks good with a completely shaven head. For this reason, I decree The Picard Imperative and not The Brynner Imperative.

Now, balding men: Make it so!
Calvo turpis est nihil compto.
There is nothing more contemptible than a bald man who pretends to have hair.
- Marcus Valerius Martialis, Roman poet, 98 AD

Combover: The Movie
Baldiness: the blog

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