Overheard [by Me] in New York

You've probably heard of this site, wherein New Yorkers can submit some of the entertaining stuff they hear on the streets. I guess it's largely due to using the public transportation that you overhear so many stranger's conversations, but you can probably also posit the shear number of crazy, conceited, or just plain creative people living here for some of the best material.

Here are three snippets I've overheard myself since moving here just a couple of months ago:

Black Girl 1: Where are we?
Black Girl 2: We're in Soho, ho!
- Coming out of the subway at Broadway and Houston.

It's just not fair. Everyone else is becoming less attractive, but I'm staying the same.
- One gay guy to another, as I trailed behind them on 1st street, between 1st and 2nd Avenues.

I'd love to come around for a visit, Mum, but I'm in Manhattan right now.
- Loud guy on a cell phone in Target in Queens.

Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori

The video for British band Kasabian's new single "Empire" makes quite an extraordinary anti-war statement, touching especially on the impact of violence upon youth, beauty and art. I'm looking forward to checking out their new album. Their debut was noteworthy, despite the nasty anti-piracy software included in many copies.

The latin phrase above - "dulce et decorum est pro patria mori" - closes out the video. It's from Horace's Odes and means "It is sweet and appropriate to die for the fatherland." According to Wikipedia, Bertolt Brecht referred to the phrase as "Zweckpropraganda," a great word by which he meant cheap propaganda for a specific cause. Lot of that floating around these days, innit?

In his poem "Dulce et Decourm Est," English poet Wilfred Owen refers to the phrase as "the old Lie."

A whole lot of youth, beauty, art, intellect and progress has been banished from the earth as a result of that old lie.

I Was Framed!

DNA 11 will swab you for DNA, then turn the sample into a work of art. They explain the process here.

Rite of Passage?

So my brand new (one-month old), rather nice Cannondale Bad Boy got lifted yesterday from right under my nose. I went into a furniture store near Union Square after locking up my bike with an admittedly flimsy chain, spent 3-5 minutes looking around, grabbed a business card from the counter for fear of leaving my bike unattended too long (seriously), went outside and - gone. The guy must've come in right behind me and/or been really quick.

Now, I felt like a bit of a dope calling the NYC cops about a stolen bike and wondered if I might get laughed off the line. The lady on the phone took my info and told me the police would come around to finish things up with me. An hour later, I left the scene of the crime. The police hadn't come yet, so I guess I'm on the lam. Before I left though, I did watch David Cross cruise slowly by me on his bike, accompanied by a blonde on foot. So that was free. I stifled the urge to call out, "Yo David, don't leave that thing unattended, man."

So it's back to pedestrian/straphanger for me, until I get to the point where I feel comfortable dropping a few quid on a bike again. Does this make me a New Yorker yet? Or do you hafta get mugged? Maybe it just cements my newbie status.

I Googled "'new york' bike stolen" and you get, like, loads of hits. 1.4 million actually, though I'm sure they're not all on topic. One of the first hits is this video guide to bicycle theft by a guy who was sick of getting his stolen and wanted to show how easy it was to do in broad daylight. Co-incidentally, his video starts with him stealing his own bike in Union Square--about a block from where mine was stolen. This guy also goes into great detail about how to avoid getting your bike stolen. On the one hand, I'm sure it would've helped if I'd bought one of these right away (was on my list of things to do - doh!); on the other, the only answer may be to not get off your bike. Unless this guy's right. I hope not.

And, hey, guess which city rates number one on this 2002 list of top ten cities for bike theft? What's the bet it's still number one?

OK, so I'm moving on now. Letting go. Really. . . . Oh, if I'd only come out of that store a couple minutes earlier!

Miscellany

In lieu of a properly composed, thoughtful entry, here are a few things I've been meaning to blog for weeks.

A. Stuart Elliott directs us to this great viral campaign for Folger's, which smartly parodies territory Folger's has been lazily mining for years. Check out the hilarious wake-up calls and auto-email responses, too.

B. A co-worker pointed out this "interface-free" touch-screen, which might remind you of the one Tommy Cruise manipulates in Minority Report. Check out the video and screenshots, too. Watch the whole video to see how extraordinarily advanced and interactive this thing is. Makes your current screen look so 20th century. (Cool music in the video by Peter Kruder, too.)

C. Details obsessives and those interested in typography may be fascinated with Andrew Hearst's detailed explanation of the kerning in the digital timer on TV's 24. Short version: the designers cheat to save space by artifically kerning the digits closer than they would typically appear in a digital display. Read the whole thing and you'll get it. I love that he noticed this and finally concludes: "The onscreen time sequences are dictated partly by the typographic limitations of the clock font." An interesting version of the tail wagging the dog. (Reading more about Andrew, I find we're neighbors. Howdy neighbor.)

D. The universe as Groundhog Day. That's kind of the possibility presented in this Guardian article. Can't be too cutting edge a theory as I was turning similar stuff over in my head back in grad school and I ain't no physics professor. The idea's either terribly horrible or terribly beautiful, depending on your mood or point of view. You might also consider it a basis for a sort of empirically-based form of reincarnation. If you're into that kinda thing.

E. Ray Troll has cool new(ish) Embrace Your Inner Fish t-shirts.

That will be all.

Down With %&$# Censorship

From Amnesty International, this cool idea: as a form of protest, publish censored material on your site, via AI's database.

CBGB's Vega$?

CBGB's may be moving to Vegas, due to NYC's prohibitive rent. Owner Hilly Kristal is also recovering from lung cancer. The famous music venue's lease ends in October, so I'm sure many East Villagers and music lovers are hoping for a last-minute miracle. It's looking less and less likely. (Via Gothamist)

Squeeze Me Into Wine & Serve the Planets

A few quick 'n' lazy notes on some noteworthy artists I've stumbled across in the last few days.

Via newyorkette (one of two blogs I've recently discovered devoted to the New Yorker), comes the delightfully bizarro comix of Kaz's Underworld, which manage a distinct balance between dark and joyful. And surreal. I especially love this one.

And via Emdashes (the other New Yorker blog) I discovered the gorgeous, elegant nigh monochromatic art of Derek Van Gieson. That's his artwork above. The Kalamazoo Gazette reviews his new book.

Finally, not all my art experience has taken place in cyberspace. Fumiha Tanaka has some lovely, playful work on display at CBGB's gallery right now. Which, I might add, is right around the corner from where I live now. Jealous?

Art School Bonus: You too can paint like Jackson Pollock!

This Is New York City

I've created a new photo set over at Flickr called This Is New York, and added a bunch of recent pics I've taken. Grand Central Station above.

Apple's Manhattan Store

If you haven't seen Apple's striking 5th Avenue store, here's a photo I took this weekend. It's downstairs from that glass entrance and open 24/7. Want a new pair of headphones for your iPod at 3am? Head on in.

More photos on my Flickr site.

RIP Syd Barrett

"Remember when you were young, you shone like the sun."

Pink Floyd's original vocalist and co-founder, the reclusive Syd Barrett died a few days ago in Cambridge, England. He was 60. The Floyd song "Shine on you Crazy Diamond was a tribute to him, and he famously showed up during its recording, though the band member didn't initially recognize him. The album title Wish Your Were Here also references Barrett.

- Excellent Observer story on Barrett's evolution into a recluse.

- YouTube search on "Syd Barrett"

Ali G Interviews Noam Chomsky

'Nuff said. Just click the link.

I always find Ali G's interviews with politicos and the literati to be great tests of the individual's character. Chomsky does quite well, getting a little bothered and impatient by the end. Not like Andy Rooney who went ballistic and dripped with condescension and contempt. Of all the ones I've seen, Gore Vidal (of course!) had the best reaction. A real class act, he just cruised along with the whole thing, treating Ali G politely, acting as if it were a legitimate interview all along.

Caucasians & the City

One thing I've realized since moving to the Big Apple is what a load of bunk Sex and the City is. (Well, I knew that already, but now for different reasons.) I've never cared for the show, but living here really drills home what a scrubbed fantasyland those girls live in. I'm sure someone's noted this before, but there are practically zero people of ethnicity in Sex in the City. That's entirely contrary to the New York I'm getting to know, where practically everywhere I go, I'm surrounded by people of multitudinous ethnic backgrounds. It's something I love about New York. You'd hardly guess it watching this show, though. Sure, there may be a few token people of color in the background from time to time, but where are the characters? Not just African Americas, who appear rarely as anything other than wallpaper in the scenery, but where are the Indians, Pakistanis, Middle Easterners, Africans, Hispanics, Latinos, Chinese and Korean people I see everywhere I go?

In fact, riding the subway, it's not uncommon for lily white boys like myself to be in the minority. Speaking of which: where are the straphangers in Sex and the City? I don't remember ever even seeing a single subway scene in Sex and the City. Everyone takes taxis all the time. Nobody I've met here so far takes taxis everywhere. Seven million New Yorkers actually ride the subway and buses on a daily basis.

Flipping back and forth between the two shows right now: Seinfeld portrays NYC with far more accuracy than Sex and the City.

It's True

You've probably heard the advice that if you want to get rid of something in New York, just set it out on the curb and it'll be gone in half an hour.

Well, I thought I'd test this out. I've had this old wicker settee for nigh on a decade and finally decided I didn't need it enough to take up space in my diminished quarters. So I set it out on the curb (strangling my genteel Southern guilt at cluttering my own neighborhood thusly) and set off to Veselka for a late-night treat of delicious raspberry blintzes and coffee.

Came back and it was gone.

I'm Your Man

"There is a crack in everything. That's where the light gets in."
- Leonard Cohen, "Anthem" from 1992's The Future

If you're a fan of Leonard Cohen, I heartily recommend Lian Lunsun's new documentary Leonard Cohen: I'm Your Man. Lunsun basically threw a concert with folks covering Cohen's considerable oeuvre, filmed it and interviewed those involved. Since U2, Jarvis Cocker, Nick Cave, and Antony (of Antony & the Johnsons) among others were invited, the results are eminently watchable. I'm writing a review up for Skyscraper, so look for it (hopefully) in the next issue.